Hillary Clinton challenges John McCain

“Are you staring at my knockers?”

Three words or phrases that will be banned come the revolution, pt.XI

1. Aspirational
2. Zoom zoom
3. Texted

Bush’s State of the Union in 9 words

“All we are saying, is give war a chance.”

The films they never made

G*A*S*H (1974)
Comic adult version of Robert Altman’s classic anti-war film, from the producers of Flesh Gordon. Members of the 6969th Gross Army Sexual Hospital nurse injured soldiers back to health by flashing their breasts at them and making them jiggle, with a 98% success rate. But when maverick doctors Dickeye and BJ are threatened with a transfer by new female commanding officer Mimsy Ironpants, the entire unit must fight in the nudest way possible to save the day.
Johnson “Dickeye” Pierce………………George Segal
BJ Love……………………………..Harry Moustache
Captain Frank “Very” Stern…………….Dash Riprock
Nurse Major Frilly “Hot Flaps” Jiggles….Fanny Flagpole
Major Mimsy “Dykeballs” Ironpants………Jemima Butch
Nurse Thrusty “Tickles” McGroin………..Flipsy Giggletits
Corporal Radar O’Pervert………………Butch Treetrunk
Director: Todd Knockers

Bush finds a way to increase his popularity

“I see it!”

Location, Location, Location fucks up

“Damn you, Kirsty and Phil!”

Big Brother’s Jade vs. Shilpa: don’t forget to vote!

If you want to evict Jade, text I’M NOT RACIST to 81918
If you want to evict Shilpa, text I’M NOT RACIST BUT… to 81918

Lines close on Hitler’s birthday!

How to deal with spammers

Comment spam to this site has recently increased from irritating to seriously stupid levels. Therefore I propose that all spammers — e-mail spammers, comment spammers, any spammer at all — be subjected to the three Bs: Beaten with a baseball bat, Buggered by a generic-Viagra crazed bodybuilder, and Buried alive. In a dynamite and scorpion-lined coffin full of hungry rhinoceros. Weighted down with polonium. At the bottom of the ocean.

…And on the 7th day He wrote a press release

Reuters reports on the continuing rise of the ‘intelligent design’ cocktossers in the USA (link will self destruct in 30 days).

These intelligent design creationist fuckbags need to be brutally mocked as the delusional cuntbuckets they truly are. Twenty-seven million dollars for a museum built by people who genuinely believe the earth was created in six days? Who isn’t standing up and saying that money could have been used for something constructive?

“I think it shows (nonbelievers) the other side of things,” said Carolyn Manto, 27, pausing in her work painting Ice Age figures for a display about caves in France.

“I don’t think it’s going to be forcing any viewpoint on them, but challenging them to think critically about their evolutionary views,” said Manto, who studied classical sculpture before joining the museum.

Think critically about their evolutionary views? This is a museum that completely disregards hundreds of years of scientific endeavour exploring hundreds of millions of years of the evolution of this planet in favour of a 2,000 year old fairy tale that claims the earth was created about 6,000 years ago in under a week.

If anyone, even one single person, is swayed by the beliefs of these creationist morons then they deserve to have every ill-advised, ill-thought out la-la moment of brainless self-satisfaction derived from their blind ignorance curdled under the weight of the best evidence science has to offer. And if that makes me a crazy fringe lunatic Godless Communist immoral baby-eating heathen, then hooray.

Zapp Brannigan sends 20,000 more troops to Iraq

“The terrorists? A trifle. It’s simply a matter of outsmarting them. You see the terrorists have a preset kill limit — knowing their weakness I’m sending wave after wave of my own men at them until they reach their limit and shut down.”

With apologies to Futurama.