Carol Vorderman, naked!

You may have come here looking for pictures of Carol Vorderman in all her saggy glory, but there are more important matters at hand. This is a public service announcement — the people of Great Britain must be warned before an unstoppable horror is unleashed upon them. Heed these words, and heed them well: Carol Vorderman is a vile money-grabbing parchment-faced mechanoid death machine who will crush your pelvis between her carbon fibre thighs as soon as look at you. She will drive you into debt with her trustworthy image, constructed from computer software originally designed for U.S. presidents. She will disintegrate your face with her eye lasers. She will melt your arms off with her microwave buttocks. Carol Vorderman wants to destroy mankind and, unless we do something to stop her, she will complete her transformation into an evil mathematical robot of doom. You may be sceptical now, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when she goes on a Godzilla style rampage through the streets of London, tearing off men’s heads with her mechanical clacker. Then you’ll believe.

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