Gordon Brown meets George W. Bush

“I warn you, Mr President, I won’t be kissing your arse like Tony did. I’ll be using more tongue.”

Age-old chicken secret passed on to new chicken

“Wait a minute — you’re saying what’s gonna come out of my ass?”

Paris Hilton spotted on private jet

The films they never made, pt.II

Pap Smear (2005)
Raucous comedy starring Will Ferrell as Sexual Biscuits, a paparazzi photographer with a personal vendetta against the celebrities who sent his wife insane by sending her messages through the pages of supermarket tabloids. The slow motion scene where Sexual approaches Lindsay Lohan in the street, taking photographs until his memory card is full, then throwing down his camera and pulling out another, would have been a classic.
Sexual Biscuits……………Will Ferrell
Frank Biscuits…………….Vince Vaughn
Pornswap Dingleberry……….Ben Stiller
Banty Flugelhorn…………..Seann William Scott
Mindy Finklestein………….Anonymous Movie Blonde No.358
Mary Biscuits……………..Jennifer Aniston
Director: Todd Knockers

Orange: the future’s shite (pause for laughter)

The person responsible for those fey fucking drippy oh so wacky and idiosynchratic Orange mobile phone adverts featuring the floppy-wristed skipping dipshits who burble on in their nu-hippy way while firing off bits of paper confetti and unravelling their propaganda banners about how they love to chat needs to be stretched out from John O’Groats to Land’s End and then sproinged into the pointy bit on the end of France, the condescending marketing cockbiscuit.

A request

Can someone please shove Lily Allen up Mark Ronson’s arse and then feed him boiled eggs until his colon collapses in on itself, forming a black hole that sucks them both into shrieking oblivion? Thanks.

Airbus workers spot something amazing in the sky

“Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It’s not a plane.”

The TV shows they never made

Biggie’s Big Budget Ballbag Bingo — Biggie Smalls hosts the game show where bingo and testicles can lead to big cash prizes.

Important news about the internet that everyone should read

Not every link has to be to a YouTube video.

Paris Hilton sighted