5pm FILM: Swinging The Lead (1953)
Ealing Studios biopic starring Peter Sellers as Sidney Willoughby, the militant shop steward who invented house paint and sex parties.
Sidney Willoughby…..Peter Sellers
Ted Dulux………….Alastair Sim
Vera Willoughby…….Martha Frigid
Gimp………………Bernard Cribbins
Director: Bill Hernia
7pm FILM: The Big Cheese (1980)
Barbara Streisand and Bette Midler star as Ryan O’Neal in this screwball comedy from the director of Mabel Sucks It Up. Sylvia and Dolly are cleaners at a laboratory who are accidentally put in charge of Ryan O’Neal’s mouth and penis, ruining his career and personal life and breaking 3 of his ribs.
Sylvia Staples………….Barbara Streisand
Dolly Partners………….Bette Midler
Ryan O’Neal…………….Himself
George Segal……………Elliott Gould
Jacqueline Goldenflaps…..Farrah Fawcett
Director: Frank Crap
9pm FILM: The Lone Hitler Versus The Precious Metal Horse Prostitutes (1974)
“Heil ho Silver, away!” shouts The Lone Hitler as he rides off into the sunset at the end of this gripping tale of bestiality and unimaginable human cruelty. Winner of the 1975 Oscar for Most Laboured Joke.
The Lone Hitler……………………Charlton Heston
Tonto Goebbels…………………….Bernard Manning
Nazi Master Race…………………..The Osmonds
Precious Metal Horse Prostitutes…….The Glitter Band
Director: Dick Long
10.30pm FILM: Slade On Toast (1972)
Director: David Robinson-Jam
12 Midnight FILM: Pan’s Labyrinth (2007)
A young girl with only basic cooking utensils is lured into a fantasy maze of cookware by a plump-tongued faun with spatulas for legs.
Director: Guillermo Del Nonsense
