I like you so much better when you’re naked

I like you so much better when you’re not singing that fucking song, you blathering gonk.

Waterboarding explained

We’ve all heard about the U.S. ‘waterboarding’ prisoners, but what exactly does waterboarding involve? Well, what happens is that the soldier performing the torture tells the prisoner that he will be round between 10am and 6pm on Tuesday, turns up on Wednesday at 6am, digs up the street outside the prisoner’s cell, puts some cones up and fucks off for two weeks.

Anonymously famous

If you were to put 3 hopeless, pointless, talentless, slaggy, z-list celebrity bints in front of me, I honestly wouldn’t be able to tell you which one of them was Peaches Geldof.