More Radio 2 scandal

Complaints are flooding in to beleaguered BBC bosses this morning after Radio 2 presenters Terry Wogan and Jeremy Vine rang writer Alan Bennett and left messages on his answering machine telling him that crumpets were to be removed from sale and joked that Bennett might drown himself after hearing the news. “He’ll be sobbing when he hears this,” Wogan laughed cruelly, as Vine sang in the background about once enjoying a crumpet on a train. The sick pair left 3 messages on Bennett’s answering machine, the last accusing the beloved playwright of paying his last gas bill after the due date.

Three words or phrases that will be banned come the revolution, pt.XIX

1. The cloud
2. Steampunk
3. Quentin Tarantino presents

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross: sacking’s too good for them

Ring ‘em up, I say — it’s the only language they understand.

It’s give your child a stupid name day!

Congratulations, Jo Whiley, on naming your daughter after a hot drink and a bar of soap.

You’re my best mate you are, hic

I’m so unlucky I’ve just been asked out for a drink by Kerry Katona.

It’s Robocrap!

Reuters reports that sinister forces may have replaced UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown with a sophisticated robot.