At the cinema

Beowulf — Robert Zemeckis employs expensive motion capture and computer animation techniques to tell the story of a dyslexic wolf with body odour. Featuring the smell of Angelina Jolie. Two thumbs up your arse.

Lions for Lambs — Animated children’s adventure from Disney, telling the story of the 1972 Moscow Zoo hostage crisis. Featuring Bruce Willis as the voice of Vladimir The Death Panda. One thumb up and one in a dyke.

Good Luck Chuck — Vince Vaughn stars in this raucous true story of Chuck Yeager’s attempt to break the sound barrier in 1947, and his love of beer and naked pool parties. When Chuck’s lucky rabbit’s foot is stolen by poachers, he loses his self-confidence and must go on a crazy quest to retrieve the charm, or evil test pilot Randy Douchebag will break the sound barrier before him. One fist up.

Brad Pitt speaks of hope for the future at Clinton Initiative

“…And with any luck by 9pm I’ll be wearing her like a glove puppet.”