It’s that time of the year again – the nights are drawing in, pensioners are dying of hypothermia and the heat death of the universe grows ever nearer, and top light entertainment miniatures Anton Dec and Declarative Antonym welcome the usual cavalcade of hollow trudging no-hopers to a short life of khaki and swallowing things:
Former singer with semi-popular boy band Smooth Pipes, Lee left the band in 1998 following a News of the World story that linked him to an international grapefruit smuggling ring.
Dr Exogesic Slitquack
The controversial Austrian genealogist who claimed in his book You Are Not Who You Are to have evidence that Geri Halliwell was Adolf Hitler’s mother arrives in the jungle freshly disgraced by facts.
Most famous for rendering conservative backbench MP Salamander Gracklespoon unconscious with the very notion of breasts, Busty has recently launched her own fragrance for which she blamed the dog.
Coronation Street actor and serial cocaine and webcam abuser Alf has recently returned to work after the case against him collapsed, breaking his leg in three places.
Star of 2008’s surprise hit film The Vanishing Clavicle, Empathy has spent the last six years in Africa as U.N. Special Ambassador for clavicles, helping to raise clavicle awareness.
Fresh from highly successful scripted reality show Godalming Nights, Shaz hopes doing something fruity with a guava while in the jungle will make her the draught excluder of good fortune when opportunity knocks on the top half of the stable door of missed chances.
TV weather chef Martin Bogle once cooked a sausage in a blizzard for the Queen and delights in bringing his surprising take on mid-17th century Peruvian cookery to the masses with his daily daytime cookery quiz show Gastrointerrogation!